To the tune of "Twelve days of Christmas"

On the First Pitch of Puffball my true love gave to me

a fucking heavy battery.

On the Second Pitch of Puffball my true love gave to me

two knackered jammers and
a fucking heavy battery.

On the Third Pitch of Puffball my true love gave to me

three tackle sacks
two knackered jammers and
a fucking heavy battery.

On the Fourth Pitch of Puffball my true love gave to me

a four bar rack
three tackle sacks
two knackered jammers and
a fucking heavy battery.

On the Fifth Pitch of Puffball my true love gave to me

five tunnock bars
a four bar rack
three tackle sacks
two knackered jammers and
a fucking heavy battery.

On the Sixth Pitch of Puffball my true love gave to me

six ripped oversuits
five tunnock bars
a four bar rack
three tackle sacks
two knackered jammers and
a fucking heavy battery.

On the Seventh Pitch of Puffball my true love gave to me

seven tight rifts
six ripped oversuits
five tunnock bars
a four bar rack
three tackle sacks
two knackered jammers and
a fucking heavy battery.

On the Eighth Pitch of Puffball my true love gave to me

eight hanging rebelays
seven tight rifts
six ripped oversuits
five tunnock bars
a four bar rack
three tackle sacks
two knackered jammers and
a fucking heavy battery.

On the Ninth Pitch of Puffball my true love gave to me

nine crumbs of flapjack
eight hanging rebelays
seven tight rifts
six ripped oversuits
five tunnock bars
a four bar rack
three tackle sacks
two knackered jammers and
a fucking heavy battery.

On the Tenth Pitch of Puffball my true love gave to me

ten loose boulders
nine crumbs of flapjack
eight hanging rebelays
seven tight rifts
six ripped oversuits
five tunnock bars
a four bar rack
three tackle sacks
two knackered jammers and
a fucking heavy battery.

On the Eleventh Pitch of Puffball my true love gave to me

eleven shit carbides
ten loose boulders
nine crumbs of flapjack
eight hanging rebelays
seven tight rifts
six ripped oversuits
five tunnock bars
a four bar rack
three tackle sacks
two knackered jammers and
a fucking heavy battery.

On the Twelfth Pitch of Puffball my true love gave to me

ONE deep sump
eleven shit carbides
ten loose boulders
nine crumbs of flapjack
eight hanging rebelays
seven tight rifts
six ripped oversuits
five tunnock bars
a four bar rack
three tackle sacks
two knackered jammers and
a fucking heavy battery.